Hi, there! Miss me? I hope so.
Last week, when daydreaming about what I would do if my plans for taking over the Reader, Writer, Critic Empire succeeded, a little thought threw itself at me (much like my plentiful suitors.) This thought was...
Reviewing Popular Music As I Would Books
In hindsight, this was a wretched idea. But-- what can I say?-- I'm stubborn, and I want to do it.
Prepare yourselves. This is going to be epic. Fire. Explosions. Volcanic Eruptions. You know, the works. (Also, a wrecking ball.)
Note: I am not reviewing the songs themselves, just their story lines. Yes, this is entirely unneeded for a music, but I'm pretending! Let me pretend!
(Also, to pick songs, I opened up the Top 100 playlist on Spotify and picked a few that seemed familiar. It was a fun time. I deserve a cookie.)
1. Counting Stars by One Republic
Characters? Dude's a dreamer, I'll give him that. Pretty beautiful. Also, do I smell an anti-hero? Everything that kills me makes me feel alive!
Plot? I like it. A classic riches-to-rags story. Who needs riches anyway? Count the stars and love each other instead!
Setting? I see stars! Stars everywhere! And a picnic for some reason. (Probably because I was just thinking of the civil war-- don't ask.)
Theme? Live! Watch the money burn! (You don't need it anyway.)
2. Wake Me Up by Avicii
Characters? So, this dude is obviously pretty self-aware. He called himself young and unwise, which took guts. He's got a good head on his shoulders.
Plot? Well, this is obviously character driven. I don't know what, exactly, prompted unnamed character to prompt this wish for "waking up," but it was a very interesting proposition.
Setting? I AM LOST IN A BLACK HOLE.
Theme? "All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost." Beautiful, this is.
3. Pompeii by Bastille
Characters? Left to his own devices, dude seemed to do pretty well. (What's with all these empowering songs? I'm a good random picker.) Also, an optimist. That's nice.
Plot? Well, I was expecting volcano explosions, but I guess this was cool, too...
Setting? Dark hills. (The volcano, I'm assuming.) A lot of the setting has to do with "closed eyes", so... And wolves, clouds, darkness. Also pompeii (VOLCANO!) (I like volcanos. I wish there was more volcano.)
Theme? Nothing is going to change. Now stop bugging me.
4. Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus (Yeah, I went there.)
Characters? First things first, SHE CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL. That's certainly not passive. I like the spunk. I mean, what an entrance!
Plot? Ah... classic girl-scorned love story. She just wanted to break down his walls! But (spoiler) he broke her instead. A beautiful story of love lost. Also, DEMOLISHING THINGS. This is WAR.
Setting? I just keep picturing Miley swinging on a wrecking ball, so that's not ideal.
Theme? Something about wrecking things? (Or mean boyfriends who wreck things?) She never wanted to start a war! She should have just let him in instead! (Uh, what?)
5. Hall of Fame by The Script
Characters? Non-conformist! They've got drive, definitely. Who doesn't want to be a rebel-hero?
Plot? And now we've got rags-to-riches! The road to being a champion starts with rebellion (or something.)
Setting? I see a hall. It's white, sterile but all comforting. The pictures of "fame," as they say, are all empty. Which is... odd.
Theme? BE WHAT YOU WANT! (Or become famous. Being famous is good.)
6. Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk and Nate Ruess
Characters? I SHIP THEM SO HARD.
Plot? Two people in love, just trying to make it work. And they will! Because they love each other, but I guess that's hard sometimes (I wouldn't know. Romantics are a concept lost to me.) Also, nightmares. Nightmares everywhere.
Setting? I picture a bed, and they're sleeping. Sort of creepy? But I ship them, so it's okay.
Theme? "We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again."Adorable.
Ha. Well I guess that's it. Not as painful as you thought, was it?
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